I was huge during my pregnancy; huge! I also had a difficult pregnancy which at the time we thought was normal. What we didn’t realize was all the internal nonsense going on including my gull bladder being shoved up into my chest!
But I digress. I noticed during this pregnancy that being pregnant was very much like being old. I made these observations after spending some time with the elderly. I hope they aren’t offended but then again I doubt any are reading this blog.
- I needed help getting my pants and shoes on, oh and socks. If I’m wearing boots I need help getting them off as well. Pants and socks I can just kick off. Don’t mind me if I have no pants on.
- Hemorrhoids! What the hell is a hemorrhoid!? I mean I know what they are but never had to deal with them and well, let’s just leave it at that.
- The restless, healthy mind in an otherwise nonfunctioning body. Staring across the room at a huge pile of laundry yet unable to get up and go fold it. Watching the girls play but too tired to join. These are examples of things that will create utter chaos of the mind.
- Uhh what’s so harmful about a few sneezes? Coughing? Laughing? They all lead to pee! Peeing your pants that is! Not a full blown saturation but enough to make you change your underwear….like 4 times in one day.
- Handicap sticker. Temporary but necessary. That’s a story for another day.
- I walk slower than my 4 year olds
- I need to take mini breaks while walking
- I notice annoying things that I would never have noticed before like if I get to work 5 minutes late I park an average of 11 spaces further away. This is what happens when you break often during the walk to the building; see number 6 and 7
- Mini meals and lots of them. I can no longer eat a big hearty meal
- Spilling or drooling. I just don’t have much control
- The hospital, doctors and pharmacy know me
- Stairs are out of the question
- Napping; no need to say anymore
So you see pregnancy is just preparing me for getting old minus the huge belly…
PS that sucka looks fake!