Struggleville
Dear Lord! I am struggling with my girls, in particular L. She is such a challenge. I am running out of solutions, punishments, and my patience has long been gone.
First the threat of a time-out worked. Then we moved on to our charts of x’s for poor behavior and smiley faces for good. Next it was “go to your room” which I hate to do because I don’t want their room to be considered negative. And now I’ve brought back spanking.
Honestly she pushes my buttons and just goes and goes until I snap. Lately I’ve found I am out of control and screaming at her like an army drill sergeant. That gets her attention but I end up angry with myself, usually I lose my voice and then I feel awful for being so psychotic!
People say don’t spank because it only teaches them to hit. Well I’ve noticed those people don’t have kids or are lying…or on some serious mellow pills or have nannies to deal with the kids. Of course if you are a teacher you can’t spank not to mention kids DO NOT behave for their teachers like they do for their parents. My kids hit even when I never spanked so….
People say don’t yell at your kids because then they just learn to yell. Really? They came out of the womb yelling.
People say don’t rush your kids because that is yet another form of abuse. Well we live on the Eastern Shore and one of my kids has adopted the move as slow as you can mentality so if I don’t rush her we will get nowhere very slowly.
So now I give a quick warning letting the girls know that if they don’t stop whatever behavior is unacceptable they will get sent to the corner or an x on their chart. If that doesn’t work it’s a spank and usually up to their room.
They know once they start temper tantruming or crying it’s upstairs until they calm down.
So give me some opinions, help, solutions, tips, or just some “I hear ya’s!” Otherwise I might be sent to a mental institution.
Lol. They are three right? Worst. Age. Ever. I mean it’s an awesome age, but for me at least the most frustrating as far as behaviors went… I seriously used to think the neighbors must think I am crazy! I would yell so much some days! My younger one is almost four and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
OH THANK YOU! That’s all I needed was one person to agree and understand! haha.
I hear ya mama. There is no solution, only to keep on trying and doing your best. Accept your humaness, your kids will too. If you dont kill them!! Also of note Liv just peed on me. Gotta go change my pants. Good luck Kerry!!!
haha! Thanks Susan!!!
You are welcome. Also, WHO says that rushing a kid is abuse? I mean really, abuse!?! Thats risiculous. Some people have too much damn time!!
yes they do…
A smacked bottom does them no harm. All these bloody do-gooders who say don’t do this and don’t do that obviously have PERFECT kids – NOT!! Kids need discipline, what they don’t need is their parents trying to be their friend. They need routine, structure and a firm hand otherwise their parents will never have any control over them. It’s a parent/child relationship – not a parent-who-wants-to-be-friends/child relationship. Counting to 3, sitting on steps, naughty corner, it doesn’t work. They are pushing buttons and seeing how far they can get before they know they’ve stepped over line. If bad behavour isn’t nipped in the bud early enough, those boundaries will grow wider and wider until eventually, they won’t exist. All this reasoning and talking the problem over with the child is absolute bollocks. Children don’t have an adult mind, they can’t understand talking over problems. Parents need to get down to the child’s level, height wise, then start off by talking quietly, maybe in a whisper even, just to show the child that effective communication doesn’t have to be about screaming, tantruming and shouting at their parents.
Good luck!!
CJ x
LOVE IT! Thank you!!!!!!!!!! Everything you sai dis perfect!