Fertility Friday 31- Then and Now

The differences between then and now in going through fertility treatments:

  1. I didn’t know what to expect; ignorance is bliss sometimes people
  2. I didn’t have anyone to talk to or who understood what I was going through-that was super rough.  I now have a great circle of support who knows so much and we help each other tremendously. (esp you Dorie if you are reading this!  I love you buddy!)
  3. Ironically we had plenty of money and not a single debt the first time around and this time we are flat broke- aren’t you supposed to gain more wealth as you get older, not the opposite?
  4. I had freedom to make the trips to the doctors weekly (some weeks 7 days); this time God has been on our side but there is going to be conflict sooner or later with finding sitters last minute (many thanks to my neighbors, Stephanie, and Katy)
  5. Again I had the freedom to be lazy and rest; I won’t have that luxury this time around with the sleepless nights of stress and the early drives to the doctor not to mention the monsters.
  6. Last time we had what it took to go the distance until it worked; this is our one and only shot
  7. The emotions are far worse this time.  I’m not sure if it’s my age, only having one shot, or just knowing the risks but I’m much more emotional
  8. We didn’t know how our life would change with a baby (babies) but this time we know and that makes all of this worth it!

I’m sure there are more but this is a good list.  I’m grateful that we get to do this again and I’m hopeful.

Thank you to all who are strong in your support and love!  We need it especially since the girls want me to have a ton of babies and name them Emily, Megan and Spiderman.


Fertility Friday 30- Opening the Door Again

The last Fertility Friday Post I wrote was September 28, 2012 and it was a farewell.  Who’s a liar?  I’m a liar.  I thought I shut this stupid door but I guess I forgot to lock it.  I had been itching so badly for a baby that I finally put together, in my head, a strong proposal of about 11 points of why we should give it one more shot.

I spent weeks,  with nervous energy as I thought and prayed and thought and prayed and finally decided I just need to talk to him; after all he is my husband and I kinda need him if I want this to happen.  So anxiously I waited at the kitchen counter until he finally arrived home.

I looked at him and said” Steve, I want another baby.”

Completely prepped and ready for a big NO to follow, I was greeted with, “me too.”

He just looked at me and waited.  I just looked at him and waited.

Finally I said, “Really?”

He said, ” yes, I’ve always wanted more kids.”

Me, “What about the money?”

Steve, “we’re not getting out of debt any time soon so what’s another 15 grand on top of it.”

Me, “well then….my appointment is on March 4th,” (Yes, you see I did already have it set up; just in case. )

And there you have it.  We started another wild adventure full of uncertainty and fear but with a conclusion that could be astounding.

My Mother told me I am the richest person she knows and I couldn’t agree more when I look around.

My dear friend told me if I could solve my problems with money then I don’t have any problems.  This is true except in the case when insurance doesn’t cover your infertility problems.

These two comments couldn’t have come at a better time.  So by and by all of this is wonderful advice and the road to babydom is on its way….

Fertility Friday 26

OH Fertility Friday I hate your face.    I had my annual obgyn appointment yesterday which is always fun especially when you lose your razor.   Sorry doc!  So as many of you know who follow FF, I’ve been seeing an acupuncturist and working towards fixing some body parts Chinese style.   While I feel impressive and sleep much better it hasn’t been beneficial in the baby department.

My menstrual cycle is as whacked out as ever and my hormones are INSANE.   We are going to continue to try and as Steve points out we need to have sex in order to make a baby, I just respond with, “yea yea we didn’t the first time.”   I kid.  I think we are going to have to have sex every day in order to hit that small teeny tiny window of ovulation should it appear but based on my monthly guest it is nonexistent.

While waiting, 50 minutes, for my appointment, I bumped into an old acquaintance.  We would see each other from time to time at the fertility offices.  She had a difficult time, not getting pregnant, but carrying the baby.  One IVF and she was good to go.  She was actually in the doctor’s office for a blood test; she was pregnant with number 4 and she wasn’t happy about it.

Now I remind myself all the time that my 2 little sweeties may be my only little sweeties and I feel fine with that.  At least I thought I did.  Someone who has gone through fertility treatments and issues should now how blessed she is; that goes for me and her.  If you didn’t want more kids then don’t have sex, get tied, get snipped or use control.  I don’t know why that got me, it’s really none of my business, but it really got me feeling low. Bottom line, I was jealous.  And Steve feels it too.

So now we are back at the waiting game.  I spent some time talking to the Dr, who I love, and she is running a series of blood work.  Since what I described to her sounds more erratic then just your every day run of the mill pms she is checking all the various hormone levels as well as my thyroid.   Knowing my history I’m entering menopause early.   Fingers crossed for some good news.  Either that or the irresponsible girl at church gets knocked up and wants to give it to me.

Fertility Friday 25

Every woman, struggling with fertility issues or planning on having children one day should read this article in the USA Today.  Thank you to my friend, HM, for sharing!

It says to start planning on having children by 32; its the “best” time fertility wise.  After that your chances start to decline.  THIS STINKS!  I know for my husband and I we were ready the day we said I DO at 26 but obviously that didn’t happen.

But realistically most women I know aren’t ready for parenthood that soon.  So many of my friends are having fun, traveling, still looking for a partner and busy with their career.  These are all healthy women and its unfortunate that because they are prioritizing their life and children aren’t at the forefront now their chances will dramatically decrease over the years.

Anyway I could go on and on but I’ll let the article speak for itself.  I pray for every woman out there that wants to be a mother.

If you don’t get a chance to read the article he is a chart representing the declines in fertility over the years.  Yuck!

Fertility Friday 24

I love Giuliana and Bill Rancic.  I got hooked on their show, for a very small period of time, while I was sick with the flu or something.  They are just a super cute reality couple and I was heartbroken when she couldn’t have children.  I didn’t really follow their story much after that and onto the breast cancer just because life got busy.

The other day I read they are expecting their first child later this summer through a surrogate.  I think that is so awesome!!  I loved being pregnant but to have your very own baby and not have to deal with the chub issue would be awesome.  Either way I’m thrilled with every success story I hear.

I also received an e-mail from my dear friend that her cousin, after trying for 7 years, is pregnant through IVF!

I LOVE THESE STORIES!!  I’m so sorry for my fellow women who can’t have babies but it does and can happen.  You don’t have to carry that baby for her to be yours.  Surrogacy, IVF, IUI, adoption, foster; no matter what it is your child.

Thinking and praying for all of you out there struggling!

Stole this Love Letter for Fertility! JOIN IN!

Love Letter


The American Fertility Association’s Love Letter Campaign

In Support of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)®

Once upon a time, a trip to the mailbox required that you step away from your computer.

Sometimes nestled among the bills you would find a colorful, hand written envelope with a special stamp on it and this would be the letter you would eagerly open first.  Like a gift, this personal note or card could impact upon your day in a way that email rarely could.

The American Fertility Association wants you to have this experience again.  In unity with our community for National Infertility Awareness Week®, we invite you to opt in to our Love Letter Campaign.  This is your opportunity to send a letter of support to another person who is trying to conceive, just like you.


The Love Letter Campaign gives you a chance to support, and be supported by, someone who understands.  To simply say, “I’m sorry for what you’re going through.  I understand.  I’m going through it too” in a gentle, non-obtrusive way.

We will give you one person’s name and address to write to, and give your name and address to someone else.   And, you can place the new AFA Infertility Awareness Stamp right on the envelope.

An AFA staffer will be sending you a love letter too, plus some educational materials that will be specific to your infertility journey.

This year’s NIAW theme is “Don’t Ignore Infertility”.  By reaching out to one another, and by using the Infertility Stamp, together we can support that goal.

Click here to opt in.  The campaign launches for NIAW but will continue throughout the year.

Stamps are available for purchase at cost on The AFA’s website indefinitely.

We wish you many love letters, throughout this campaign, and throughout the years to come.

Fertility Friday 22

I have nothing for today.  All things fertility related are at a standstill.  I’m continuing to go to the Acupuncturist so he can target my uterus, continuing to work on the blood type diet and keeping fingers crossed.

As the warm weather approaches and the girls are becoming more and more independent, I bounce back and forth between the easy life that toddlerhood brings and the yearning (I hate that word, sounds pornographic) of the infant years.

Don’t get me wrong, toddlers are certainly difficult but in a different way.  The positives are the sleep, no diapers, can feed and dress themselves, can play independently, we can travel and go on adventures.  Will that all stop with a newborn?  Maybe.  Right now I will just continue to suck up every ounce of my tinies and be grateful for that.