Let’s see how this works for all of you out there trying. My memory of the strenuous two years of trying to have my own family is a very blurry one. What I remember were the endless trips to Annapolis. Two hours there, two hours back. Most months I would leave my house at 5:00 in the morning to make it to the Dr. office by 7:00 so I could be seen first and then jump back in the car to make it to work by 9:00. I was usually late but I had a very cool boss who never noticed or tracked time and now we are best buds even though at the time he had no clue. This occurred anywhere from 7 – 15 times a month; mostly alone unless my husband could make it or my dear parents. I would cry. It was hard going alone but I knew it had to be done. I would be scared but I grew stronger. I would get down but learned to be positive. I would get drunk but sober up although that wasn’t during the drive, appointment or work. It was every month when my nurse, D, would call and tell me once again she was sorry but it didn’t work. I hated those days, so did my husband and my Mom because those two had to calm my nerves, wipe my tears, and then put me to bed. Sounds dramatic but it sucked! It sucked because one after another women were getting pregnant all around me. It sucked because once again on the news a baby was abandoned. It sucked because I knew S was sad with me. It sucked because the issue was me. But i tell you what above all of that what I remember the most was standing on the corner of Toulouse and Bourbon and getting a call. D said, ” I hope you are drinking O’Douls!” That is what still sits in my heart and mind. That is when the real emotions started, the real tears, the real party. New Orleans was all a little girl with a dream of being a Mom needed.