He Did Whaaat?

This weeks Monday Listicle is  “Oh NO You Didn’t” brought to you by Stasha herself.

I was thinking of making my list all about what people say to either a pregnant woman or a woman pregnant with twins…for the second time.

I probably will one of these days but for now let’s just go with the many things my husband has done in the past.  It’s no wonder I dedicated a site to him and him alone; Damn-it Steve is always heard around the world or at least the neighborhood from my loud mouth.

Without further ado, here is my Damn-it Steve-Oh NO You DIDN’T list:

  1. Taught the girls to sing “Momma’s got a big ol’ butt oh yeah” and they have willingly and clearly sang it at school, in the store, the doctor’s office and more
  2. Brought to life pantsing in this house.  Luckily I’m pregnant and get a short reprieve but the neighbors have probably had their fill of my butt
  3. Tells the girls when it’s nap time “Girls- nap time or slap time”
  4. He buries the girls up to their neck in snow and gives them snow boobies
  5. He told me not to make a certain face because a quarter could get stuck in my wrinkle
  6. I was trying to sneak out of the house when the girls busted me and asked where I was going.  I said to an adult store.  In the background Steve yells to them “A nudey bar!”
  7. He told the girls that gravy is liquid poop
  8. He high-fived my chest when he didn’t think the girls were looking when we were playing memory.  A minute later when H got a match she reached over and high-fived my boobs.
  9. He let the girls use grapefruits for rolling down pins since we didn’t have any balls
  10. He not only taught the girls to blow spit bubbles but taught them how to let spit drip out of their mouth and then suck it back up real quick

Let me clarify that just because this is an example of a week in my life with Steve; he is an excellent father and husband.  He just likes to annoy me and act like a kid.  I, depleted and defeated, asked him one day, “why?”  And his only response was, “I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help it.’

And there you have it.

He does make me laugh and keeps me on my toes until the school starts calling and parents start canceling play dates, then he has to deal with it on his own.

What are some of your  “oh no you didn’t” moments?

Also don’t for get to enter my lovely GIVEAWAY….The Blooming Bath!  How adorable is this????

blooming bathBlooming Bath

 

34 thoughts on “He Did Whaaat?

  1. OMG ….I can’t stop laughing woman….omg…have to walk away

    okay back now…wow….that is just too funny, he’s such a big kid…and too funny. I know everyone says my hubby is really funny and I respond with you want to live with him everyday and see how funny he is after one week?

  2. Seriously, my Ironman has a clone. With the same name. Living down south. Your post didnt phase me in the least.

    I’d blame Vicodin, except I haven’t had any in at least 4 days.

    His last name isn’t Hines is it? If it is, we’ve got a case of polygamy to discuss…

  3. Too funny! My hubby is my 3rd child. When I tell the kids to clean up their rooms, they ask why daddy doesn’t have to clean up his. He taught my children how to pull his finger, and how to belch loudly. Now my little 5yo daughter, that is supposed to be the essence of all that is lady-like, will belch loudly in my face whenever the mood strikes. She has watched him be flirty with me, and often at inopportune times, will come over and pat me on the chest and tell me that she likes my boobies. And last but not least, just a week ago, hubby holds the kids down and colors with a marker all over their faces. After the giggling stopped (mostly), and they washed the marker off, dear son comes up to me with said marker in hand and says “It’s RETALIATION time.” like he was in a movie. That one still has me laughing. 🙂

    • OMG the cleaning!! Steve never picks up after himself and I’m always telling him NOT to yell at the girls for something even he doesn’t do.
      hahahahaha that is too funny that he colored their face!!!
      LOVE IT

  4. OMGOSH I love this post!!!!! Steve is CRACKIN’ ME UP!! (Like I have been friends with him for years) I am SO glad to find you, Kerry! Those are total gems the hubs is teaching the kids! I love it! 😉

  5. Wow, my husband hasn’t done anything quite like this, but there are definitely some common threads among dads. Just seems to be part of the gig to pass on inappropriate things to the kids… LOL 🙂

  6. Oh my gosh!! I found your blog by accident and I am SO glad I did!! This is the very first post I read and I can.not.wait to jump in and read some more! I laughed at every single Damn-it Steve moment!! I feel like I have known your family for years. Thanks so much for the laughs!!

    • You know what Kate you are totally right! they love it have fun and I do laugh. that’s what he says “be glad after all these years I still fondle you:) haha

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