Stop Looking at ME

“I no longer make eye contact with strangers.

I was always the smiley girl walking down the street, into the store, wherever.

But that changed once the second set of girls showed up.

The looks, the questions, the comments are wearing me thin.  I understand it is unusual and interesting to have twins let alone two sets but we aren’t a freak show.  We are a family just like yours that happened to increase by twos instead of ones.

I don’t tell people H and L are twins.

I hope they don’t ask.

When I have the babies and people ask me if I have any other kids, I sometimes say no because often the conversation takes this road:

Stranger: do you have any other children

Me: yes

S: how many?

Me: 2

S: ohhh my you have your hands full.  How old are they?

Me: 5

S: both?????

Me: yes

S: you have TWO sets of twins?

Me: yes

S: how did that happen?

You get the point.  It becomes embarrassing because people start to look as soon as they hear a person exclaim loudly “you have two sets!!”

I don’t want to be embarrassed but inevitably I get the aggressive and rather invasive questions of HOW.

We didn’t pray for twins.  We prayed for a baby.  We were blessed with babies…twice.  We LOVE our girls.  We love being parents of twins even with the hurdles and sleepless nights.

We weren’t, however, prepared for being on stage every time we left the house.

It sounds a bit dramatic but when you are trying to get through the grocery store before a baby wakes up or starts crying or being patient with the thousand “can I gets” coming from the big girls you just want to get through it as fast and painless as possible.

So that is why I no longer make eye-contact in public.  It’s to avoid the conversation.  I still hear people whisper “she has twins” “oh my I wonder if they are both twins”


Sidebar: I understand people are just curious but I wish people would think a minute about the comments and questions.

My sex life, my reproductive life is not a public discussion.  I will GLADLY discuss with people I know.  Couples having infertility issues can ask and pry away.  Obviously I have no issue since I blog about it but those strangers don’t read my blog.  They don’t know I am open to conversation.

Please think about how you would feel before you dive into someone’s personal life.”

I wrote this during my bout with PPD or what I think was PPD.  I’m glad I didn’t publish it then because it is not me.  This is not the thought process of me.  I do get annoyed but it’s my life and I’m proud of it and honestly it isn’t anyone’s business of how.  Period!  It just isn’t.

My girls are amazing and I celebrate that.  Sure when I’m rushed or in a bad mood I don’t want your comments but whether we have triplets, sextuplets or none we are always going to find a day or two that even a simple “hello” is annoying.

I’m relieved these aren’t my true emotions and that the devil just took residency for a stint.

I love people.  I love making eye-contact and smiling.  I love that a simple smile can make another smile.  It’s really that simple.




3 thoughts on “Stop Looking at ME

  1. So glad you’re back and feeling smiley. Now I don’t need to send Chris round to make you giggle with her poop jokes.

    people can be nosy and intrusive. And dumbasses – back when I worked at the nursery, we had these triple buggies. I once took three babies, all 1 year old, on an outing. An old lady stopped me in the street and (after cooing over them for a moment) asked if they were all mine…which would have been fine, but one was caucasian, one was Indian and one was Chinese…

  2. It is amazing how inconsiderate some folks can be. I never liked those who felt they could touch a pregnant woman’s belly…I don’t feel they should even ask unless they are mighty damn close to the family. Glad your usual good humor is in place. You are a people lover and they/we love you back. Nothing can keep you down for long xx

  3. Welcome back! Yeah people can be insensitive sometimes. This is a really thought provoking post. Thank you for sharing. I never thought of it from your side before. I think I would be intrigued by someone who has two sets of twins and may ask questions that are hurtful. It doesn’t make you weird or a freak show, but it’s definitely something cool. Thank you for the fresh perspective.

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