Fertility Friday 36- And They Grow

Monday May 6 was a BIG day in this family.  It was the day I got to see the ultrasound and confirm that the pregnancy blood work was accurate!

There is a fear when going through this entire struggle that it’s never going to work; that it would be just too good to be true.  Why do we infertile women ever think that?  We go through hell to get pregnant!

But still the fear sits there nice and cozy in your heart and in your mind.

After having a miscarriage the fear doubles.  When you lie down on that table and expect to see a heartbeat and the nurse makes “that” face, that unforgettable face you know.   How hard her job must be to pass along that horrible news.

But on May 6th those fears were gone because I was indeed pregnant; am indeed pregnant.  However of the two embryos we put in only one took.  BUT that little stinker split.  So we are now having identical twins.  That is very rare; very rare as in 1 in 35,000 apparently according to one site. That statistic is off…by a lot.  It seems that identical twins occur 1 in about 285 cases of twins and that having 2 sets of twins is only 1 in 10,000.

As always the doctor just laughed because I am such a unique patient which I have heard before, many times.

With identical twins the risk is even higher than fraternal.  However with that being said I have luckily been given the best situation.  Each baby has their own amniotic sac inside the chorion. So basically each baby is in his own bubble in my bubble.  They can still steal each other’s food but the chance of cell sharing and entanglement is near diminished.

I think I have that all correct.  I’m still thinking what the hell is Steve going to do with 2 sets of twin girls so while I am praying for healthy babies, boys would be nice.

They did warn me that until 8 weeks there is a chance of losing one.   How heartbreaking?

But today was the day; the day that my chances of losing one of the twins fell to 5%.  The four of us got up at 6:00 to hit the road and see what God had in store for us and twins is was and twins it is!

This is so nerve racking and the entire time I was thinking “how in the world does a woman make it her entire pregnancy with only 2 ultrasounds?”   But then again that is ideal because that means she is neither old nor high risk.

I’m a little over 8 weeks and graduated from the fertility specialist today and now I’m on to my high-risk doctor and obgyn.  The remaining 7 months will be filled with appointments 2-3 times a month.

I’ve been there before I can do it again.

We are so stinking excited that our little family is growing.

I thought I would share the 3 stages of my pregnancy so far.

Day of implantation

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Week 6- See the two little circles? That’s them!

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Week 8 (today)- Look how close they have gotten (how big) in just two weeks!

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Now that’s how you roll out of MAY!  Booya!

Fertility Friday 32- Don’t Read the Signs

Oh my gosh the signs.  You can over-read the signs until you are breathless.  On the evening I was supposed to do my trigger shot, I opened the pre-filled needle and it was empty!  Empty!  Was this my sign that maybe we shouldn’t be doing this again?

Luckily, that was my one and only break down, which was a long time coming and my doctor got it all squared away.   Miraculously he was able to issue me a substitute with the supplies I had until I got to his office the next day.  I spent 3 hours in his office waiting for my new meds.

This hiccup pushed our schedule back a couple days which was actually more desirable for Steve and me.  Now it’s a good sign.

The morning I was driving to my parents’ house so they could watch the girls while I had my transfer, my Bowie necklace broke.  Bowie was my beloved dog of 12 years and when he passed, I was 8 month pregnant with the girls; my sister had a necklace with his name made for me.  I wore it faithfully every day.  When I broke it the first time my sister handed me a backup….she did that twice.  She knows me so well.

Was that my sign?

Out of 24 fertilized eggs, it looked like none were viable to be frozen.  Was that my sign?  Was that the sign that I was going to get pregnant since I didn’t have any more chances?

Then the doctor called 3 days later with a report that four actually matured beautifully and are frozen.  Ahh!  Now am I not pregnant because some were actually frozen.

Is it a coincidence that my transfer fell on the start of NIAW week?  Or that my doctors’ name was Isaac (like my little buddy Isaac from Saving Isaac?)

Lord have mercy with the good signs, bad signs!  Just ignore the signs and let God do his magic; of course with the help of those brilliant doctors.

But honestly from transfer to pregnancy test is the hardest of all.  The wait is horrible.  You think every little move is vital in some way.

Did I yell too loud at the girls?

Did my blood pressure go up to high?

Am I warm enough?

Did I eat enough?

Is that heart-burn I feel?

Was that package too heavy to lift?

This is straight torture!

Two weeks cannot get here fast enough and I never wish away my time but I need to know.   I NEED TO KNOW!

OK positive feelings!  Send me your positive vibes because I am greedy and want them.  Thanks!