Teaching my Girls to be Love – TToT

As I’ve gotten older I have become slightly less insecure; a little less jealous.  I take time to admire people and learn from their strengths…and weaknesses instead of finding fault in myself and praise in them.

This calmness of self comes with age and being surrounded by people you love and who, in return, love you.

In a little over two short years we have been to three funerals of young people we love.   That means by the time H and L were just five they had attended three funerals.  That thought makes me sad.  It makes me sad because with each funeral they ask me if I still cry for Andreas.

I answer them truthfully.  I think it’s heartbreaking for them to learn the lesson of loss so early but they understand and I can’t hide it from them forever.

With all of this happening it has made me learn to love a little better.  Love everyone in my life for who they are whether I did before or not.  I’m learning to find a little kindness and focus on that.

I’ve also come to realize that I am the woman in my girl’s life that will show them to either be love or be jealous and I want them to be love.  That is a much better, happier route.

I vow to show them a good life instead of preaching about one and these are just a few ways:

  1. I will love my short, petit frame and focus on the strength it carries.  I will not whine because I am short, I will beam because I am strong
  2. I will love each battle scar instead of hid them
  3. I will be proud of the soft center the years of carrying babies and numerous surgeries have left because of this I have four healthy children and I am alive
  4. But I will show them modesty by wearing a full piece ha-ha
  5. I will show them how to eat that piece of cake or two without feeling guilt
  6. Even though I am a SAHM and a damn fine home keeper, I will show them independence
  7. I will show them the value of an education and the importance of reading
  8. I will show them kindness to all walks of life and  to reach out to those not being treated kindly
  9. I will show them the difference between money and love and hope they choose the latter
  10. And lastly I will show them how to make an amazing pie with the best ingredients, many we have grown

As a mom of girls I have one chance to show them strength.  I have to be kind to myself so they will be kind to themselves.   It’s a tough job but on top of all its glories I have found that being a parent forces me to be a kinder, better person in order to show them how to do so as well.

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I’m not sure I’ll ever stop being surprised by the lessons I teach and am taught in this role.   I’m not sure I will ever stop being surprised by the emotions I find myself carrying and displaying.  I admire each one of my girls in very different ways and every year that admiration grows.  I can’t wait to see what I learn next!

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”Ten

”Ten

9 thoughts on “Teaching my Girls to be Love – TToT

  1. Ohhhh I had forgotten how VERY much I love your writing and your photographs and your outlook and your everything and I MISSED YOU!

    Kidnap your friend more….ohhh please! This is such a beautiful in every way kind of post.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear you had so much loss in your life in such a short time. It isn’t easy to walk our kids through such experiences.
    Those are wonderful ways to show your girls how to embrace life.
    Your photos are fantastic.

  3. This is the most beautiful post. I’m sorry for all the loss in your life but it seems to me you have pulled some very valuable lessons from it. The list of things you want your children to learn is so incredible. Every point is so important and I loved reading it. Thank you for sharing.
    Your photos are precious. It bears repeating….this was just lovely.

  4. This is an absolutely gorgeous post and absolutely gorgeous pics. That last one with the wet hair! I can identify with nearly every one of your thankfuls and need to adopt them myself. But I am sorry about all the death. Death of a young person is too horrible. We’re preparing our kids for the impending death of a elderly family member, and I agree that honesty and forthrightness are key.

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