People tell me at least three times a week, “Wow! How lucky you are to have twins.”
To which I always reply, “I know!”
I never ask why. I just take it as a compliment. Manly because if I ask why it will lead to a barrage of questions mostly nosey ones. And truthfully as exhausting as having twins is, I do feel lucky.
However, many people tell me why they say that anyway. They think it’s great for one of the following reasons:
- Always a playmate (always an enemy too; the fighting is insane)
- Knock it out at once (yes, as long as you are one of the few who actually have a healthy, strong pregnancy, carry to term and avoid the NICU)
- They nap and go to bed at the same time (since when; they still have their own habits)
- Get it over with at once ie: potty training ( I feel like these people have never tried to potty train one let alone two at a time or for that matter, teach a child anything. It’s exhausting!)
- SO cute to dress them alike! (And expensive, very expensive. No hand-me-downs so you get over the cute, matchy factor quickly)
With that said though, my older girls are seven and so far I feel like having twins is extremely difficult until about age four. By then it seems most of the daunting tasks are finished like potty training, teaching to feed, sleeping hurdles etc.
At that point it turned into just having two kids aside of the obvious; birthdays, sports, party invitations. And of course they are still on the same mental wave length and that will always be the scariest! People ALWAYS forget this part.
Yes, they have a buddy but that buddy is never going to get too mature for them or be too immature and never will one EVER say, “Oh, I’ve already done that.” So the challenge is up to them. Two minds of the same age is only less scary if it were three minds. This just never seems to sink in with people.
We made a list of the pros and cons and wouldn’t you know that just about all the pros are also the cons.
- Always a playmate. This is great especially at the beach until one becomes afraid of sharks then you have to choose to go in the water or stay out.
- Best friend for life. I see this in so many adults and love it for my girls.
- Makes for great photos especially at this young age!
- So many hugs, snuggles and kisses at once.
- Knocking out two for the price of one! One pregnancy, BOOM, two kiddos!
- Can share clothes and toys (haha yeah right)
- One classroom if you choose. Cuts down on the balancing act and if one forgets their homework, the other has it!
- Typically they will play the same sports and be on the same team (to start anyway)
- They learn from each other; practice their homework or sports together
- The fights, oh the fights.
- Sneaky minds on the same wavelength, addressed above but worth repeating.
- It’s much louder than having one or many at different ages. I’m not sure why either.
- Teaching two at once; potty train, eat, drink, and brush teeth. This is the true test of patience.
- Expensive; twice as many to feed, twice as many to put in daycare, twice as many diapers at the same time. No staggering to get used to the expense. Think future: braces, college, even sports and parties.
- Different personalities causing them to split friends, parties etc. won’t be able to or want to share clothes for one thing.
- Only one getting invited somewhere; this is devastating for a parent to watch.
- Same grade but not in same class room you will have to choose where to go because all teacher meetings, celebrations, presentations, field trips are at the same time.
- The comparing. Not only about personalities but looks. My older girls are built as differently as two kids can be build and while we do our best to nurture each, there will come a day when the world will let them know how different their physical appearance is and will tell them it is wrong.
We wanted to have balance to our list so we stopped at nine.
On a daily basis it seems like the madness will never stop but as soon as you get a hug or hit a mile stone you quickly forget the struggles.
No matter what at the end of the tiring, exhausting, sore throat day; having twins is the best thing in the world even if there was one pro to forty cons.