Would you Fart and Run?

As I gagged this morning while changing F’s stinky diaper, I said to Steve, “oh my gosh, I hope she doesn’t do this at the water park today.”

Steve, laughed and said, “if she does, I’m leaving you all!”

Jerk.

Then we got laughing thinking about him ditching me with the kids, in a total tourist water park that we got into for free after one of the baby poops and closes the joint down!

Sidebar: Someone needs to make a super, powerful, leak proof, water diaper.

So this lead to other conversations and one in particular that needs a damn-it Steve recognition.

It was a million years ago before we were married and we were shopping at Tyson’s Corner mall; huge mall and extremely busy as it was Christmas time.

We had just ordered coffee and were sitting in the center by the water fountains taking a break.

We had tons of bags.

Suddenly, Steve got up and walked away, leaving me with everything. I assumed he was going to get more sugar for his coffee.

Then it hit me. Gagging set in and my eyes started to water.

People started looking around…. then AT ME!

I tried to grab everything but it just attracted more looks as I fumbled to get my purse, bags and coffee.

That a** hole ripped a good one and casually walked off.

When I caught up to him he was nearly on the ground laughing hysterically.

Merry Christmas!

crocodile eating man

 

2 thoughts on “Would you Fart and Run?

  1. On airplanes, Craig used to rip them while seated. They were quiet and completely undetected…until- he got up to use the restroom-releasing his smelly awfulness. He would look at me with an evil and yet oh-so-proud smile. And yes- everyone would look at me. #damnitcraig #damnitsteve

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